


No One Won The War

by lousfollygarden



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst and Feels, Bottom Harry, Eventual Smut, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I won’t be naming the child because I don’t want to bring this minor into the plot, M/M, My writing will improve overtime so bare with me while I make a bunch of edits lol, Smut, Top Louis, harry cries a lot, larry stylinson - Freeform, sprinkle of more angst cause this is my first angst fic and I want to really push it lol, theyre still in love with eachother but dont know what to do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:59:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28125747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lousfollygarden/pseuds/lousfollygarden
Summary: Harry learns that his ex has had a child, and finds himself chasing the one that got away.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

It happened so fast.  
Where did it all go so wrong?

**

Harry was at Gemma’s house when he had heard the news. They had been having such a good time, brother and sister, just in presence of one another. A normality neither of had been able to have in a long time. Harry wasn’t the type that appreciated this kind of simple until he had joined One direction; that was when everything had changed. 

“So...” Gemma inquired, twirling the tiny red stick in her empty martini glass.  
“..What else have you picked up? I know you wanted to get into reading more.” She picked up the glass, tilting it to sip on the alcoholic droplets. 

“..Yea, I bought a few books online. Looked interesting actually.” Harry didn’t know if he was really going to read any of them, but buying them made him feel like he was doing something at least. Truthfully, he didn’t feel like doing anything recently. After he made the first suggestion to the boys that they take a hiatus, he got confused, heated responses. The spaces between all of them stiffened quickly. It just became so..uneasy. Especially with his ex, Louis Tomlinson. 

Louis Tomlinson.

The boy he had been so in love with since the day they met. The boy who swiped his first kiss from him. The boy he took home to meet his parents. The boy who had promised him the world..And the boy who’s heart he broke. Badly. And it seemed.. It felt like their most recent break up was for good. Harry realized it was the longest they had spent broken up. It was July now, far from their cold winter breakup. When the air and their exchanges were so..icy. Their aggressions against one another softened eventually, but never really thawed. He felt so disconnected from the boy he cared so much about. It tore him up, the ache to mend their split gnawing at every fiber of his being. Why did this break feel so different from their last? Why wasn’t this as easy to fix?

“Haz?” His glazed eyes snapped to look at Gemma, who was staring at him. 

“Sorry, what?” He asked quickly. 

“I asked what books you got.” 

“Oh, well..Just some philosophy books. You know..Philosophical.” He said in a rasp. Harry knew he sounded out of it, which he was. But he didn’t want Gemma to ask why. Right now, in this moment, he just wanted to enjoy his drink.

Gemma’s phone pinged. Harry glanced down at it, expecting her to pick it up instantly as she normally did. Unlike her usual routine however, Gemma sighed, and put it aside. She turned herself fully to her brother, crossing her arms in a menacing but sincere manner. “Harold. Please, look at me. I genuinely want to talk to you.” Her frown was a serious one that made Harry’s skin crawl. He put down his drink, and turned to Gemma. “You look so tired bub. I know you’re going through a lot and..” She trailed off. “..And I just want you to know your family loves you. I love you.” Gemma put out her hand, rubbing Harry’s arm with a gentle squeeze. 

“Alright, alright. You’re right. Thanks for reminding me.” Harry said with a small grin on his face. A warm pit sat in his chest, filling him with a smidge of hope. Whether it was love or the half bottle of wine in his stomach, he didn’t care. He was finally starting to feel okay. 

Gemma finally picked up her phone off the counter, and opened it casually. Harry stared at the ceiling lights, trying to down his drink. He looked back to Gemma when he heard her gasp.

“Oh my god, Harry, I-“ She paused, then looked at him. He could see her face fall, first with shock, then sadness. His chest sank.

“What is it?” He questioned, then cocked his head to look at her phone. She quickly snatched it close to her chest.

“Nothing! Nothing important, really. Just some of me babs telling me something crazy, s’all.”  
Her eyes darted to her phone and then to him. Harry’s expression turned pained. 

“Seriously Gemma, what is it.” He reached for the phone in her hand, making her move back in defense. 

“It’s nothing, I swear!” her voice strained, as she looked to him with pleading eyes that said you don’t want to know. 

“Just let me see!” Harry frowned. It felt like they were toddlers all over again, fighting over a silly toy. He reached, his long arms allowing him to grip and pull the phone from her. 

“Harry, please! You don’t need to this right no-“ She stopped as he looked down at the tiny phone in his hands. Gemma turned to him with a gutted look. She watched his face stare at the small lit-up screen, reading the words sent by her friend. 

-Omg can you believe this ?! Does your brother know ??  
The link was all Harry needed to read.  
*Louis Tomlinson is expecting first child with Briana Jungwirth!*  
Harry stared at the screen, his mouth drying up. He could barely think. 

“Harry..I’m..I’m so sorry. You know I, I didn’t want to be the one..” Gemma put her hands over her mouth, her eyes welling up. She couldn’t read the expression on his face.  
Harry shakily put the phone down, his hands trembling.  
He pushed himself against the counter, strained veins popping from his arms. He felt like he was going to vomit. None of this made any sense. Why was this happening? Was it fake? Why hadn’t Louis told him before? Was he sleeping around when they were still together? His stomach twisted, and churned with a burning sensation unlike anything he had ever felt before.  


Harry moved swiftly past Gemma, who opened her mouth for a second before closing it. She knew this was a huge blow to her baby brother. He stumbled down his sister’s hallway, to the bathroom before shutting the door quick behind him. Before he knew it, his knees had crumpled to the ground.  


Harry was on the floor, unable to stop the stream of tears falling down his cheeks. He was crying. Crying over him of all people, once again. His choked cries echoed through Gemma’s house, filling the almost empty space with a sickening sound. Harry didn’t cry often, but when he did, he couldn’t stop. Louis had always been the one who caused it to start, yet was there to help him stop. But Louis wasn’t here. He hadn’t been here for months. Harry hadn’t felt this alone in years. He felt himself curl up, huddled under the sink. His world suddenly became so..scary. His heart hurt so badly. He kept crying, through waves of intense heartache, feeling like his chest could burst at any second. He had lost Louis. That beautiful boy, that blue-eyed fucking bastard, his light, was no longer his. Sobs subsided into quiet whimpers. Whimpers fell to quiet, hitched breath. And like that, Harry cried himself to sleep.


	2. I Hear the Day Has Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months of heartache, Harry decides to take the first step.

Warm. 

Harry felt incredibly warm.

Warmer than he had ever been before. It wasn’t like a hot, overbearing heat, rather a gentle warm bath. It all felt so familiar. With closed eyes, Harry continued to melt into the feeling. It was like Louis’ hot hands massaging him, their dryness soothing his naturally cold skin. He could feel the motions, feel the roughness, feel their bare skin intertwined like a lock and key. It felt like home. 

“Harold, you up yet? You gotta check in with your manager.”

Snapping back to reality, Harry sat up with a jump. He instinctually felt for the warmth on his back and arms, expecting the hands he had just been feeling moments ago. Gemma came over to the couch he was on, handing him a cup of breakfast tea. 

“Here. You passed out in the bathroom.”

“How long was I asleep?”

“Not too long.” Gemma answered sympathetically. She sat down next to her disheveled brother, sighing.

“About last night.. Do you think.. That you’re gonna be okay today? You could avoid him, you know. You don’t owe him anything, not after the crap he’s pulled..” She sipped her tea.

Harry looked forward, jaw locked in place. He didn’t know what to think. His thoughts were still too muddled - What was he supposed to say? “I’m so happy for him!” or, “I never want to see him again.” - ..Neither were true. He wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t.. Angry, either. He didn’t hate Louis. He didn’t even _dislike_ him. Harry just missed him; he missed the feeling he got from being with him. He would do anything to get that back. 

“I miss him, Gemma.”

Gemma stared straight at Harry, eyebrows raised in surprise. “Did you just say you _missed_ him?”

Harry shocked himself, blurting out loud what had been brewing in his head for months.

“I want to talk to him again. I can’t avoid him for the rest of my life.”

Getting up, Gemma pursed her lips with uncertainty. “I mean, I want you to do what’ll make you happy - even if it means talking to that prick again.” She rolled her eyes, and patted her brother’s head as she went to put her cup away. Harry was unsure whether or not he could even handle seeing Louis again, but with this sudden surge of confidence, he felt anything was possible. 

“Gemma, can you hand me my phone?” Harry shifted on the couch towards his sister, reaching his arm out. She grabbed it, and stopped. 

“Wait. Are you going to call your manager or call Louis? Because only one of those things is a good idea.”

Harry frowned, and motioned with his hand to get his phone back. “Cmon Gemma, just give it.” 

“No, not until you tell me what you’re planning to do with it.” She cocked her eyebrow and tucked the phone under her arm.

Harry grumbled, running his hand over his face. He stumbled from the couch to his sister, putting his hand out expectantly. “ I won’t call him right now.” 

Gemma eyed Harry up and down, her pursed lips and unwavering stance attempting to intimidate. “..Promise?”

“Promise.”

Gemma reluctantly handed over the phone, watching to see what he’d do next. Before she even processed what was happening, Harry rushed past her towards the front door.

“Alright, I’ve gotta run, but I’ll see you later! Love you!” He slammed the door behind him, still in a wrinkled shirt and skinny jeans. He felt invigorated. Harry looked down at his phone, and opened it. He immediately went through his contacts, scrolling past managers and family. He stopped his finger above one name: 

**Louis**. 

A knot grew in his stomach. Should he? Does he even dare? Right now? Harry went through the scenarios in his head. Louis picks up, they profess their undying love, end of story. 

Or, another possibility, Louis brags about his new marriage to a woman, telling Harry he never loved him in the first place..

He bit his lip, and shut off the phone. Maybe he would actually need to think this through. Harry got up to his car, opening the door and stepping inside. Hesitantly, he called his manager to hear his outlined schedule for the day. 

“Not much for you to do today, Harry. I really suggest you get together with your producers and the rest of the boys to get those finishing touches for the next album.. We’re sticking with Made in the AM, right?”

Harry grimaced. He wasn’t set on the album name, but it was what Louis and Liam agreed on. If anything, he always tried to be in bed before the AM. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Sounds good! I’ll just talk to the J crew to see who can come into the studio today. Keep that grind going!” The phone call disconnected, an empty pit in Harry’s stomach taking it’s presence. He hadn’t gone to the last two recording sessions, it being just preparation fortheir album’s final sound. But he knew he really should’ve.

This was gonna be their last album for.. Well, he wasn’t sure how long. Everyone was hit hard after Zayn’s absence, but now that a hiatus was going to be announced, Harry didn’t really know if it was going to go for the proposed “18 months.” None of them really did. 

After the phone disconnected, Harry wavered, then slid his finger up back to Louis’ contact. He stared at it, nervous fingers trembling with excitement and fear. He clicked the speech bubble icon, his screen taking him to their messages. A sudden wave of emotions almost crushed him, seeing their last texts date from March. 

  * _Why are you being so cold to me?_



  * _We need to talk_



It was right before their breakup. Right before Louis said he couldn’t do it anymore. Right before Harry told Louis straight to his face that he didn’t love him anymore. 

It was a mistake. It was the biggest fucking mistake of his life. Harry felt himself gasp for air, trying to hold back the same tears he’d cried over and over again. Not now. He needed to stay put together. He couldn’t afford to be weak. 

Shaking out the nerves, Harry sent a blurb of text to Louis for the first time in almost 4 months. 

  * _Gonna be in the studio today. Thought I should let you know._



He bit his nail, already doubting the choice to text him. But the damage was done, and he had committed to it.

Putting his hands on the steering wheel, Harry shakily pulled out from his sister’s house and onto the road. Pausing, and then taking a deep breath, he started his drive to the recording studio. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been so fun writing :) thanks for the kudos ! I should’ve been doing this sooner haha


	3. Wish You’d Ask Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry arrives at the recording studio.

Click.

The glass doors slid open, a wave of cool air hitting Harry’s face. He looked around the hallway, scanning it for people. 

“Harry?”

A bouncing wave of blond hair flocked towards Harry’s arms, grasping him with a tight grip. 

“It’s so good to see you back in today! I was hoping you’d come. Me and Julian agreed that we should try re-recording some of your solos. You have been taking care of that beautiful voice, haven’t you?” Helene raised her eyebrows expectantly. A cheeky smile creeped across Harry’s face, followed by a slow nod. If anything though, his singing was the last thing he was worried about. 

They both took the elevator down to the bottom floor, The cramped space making Harry nauseous. Quickly, the smell of disinfectant and body odor became apparent, unsurprising to either of them. The studio was their home, the boy’s space for creative expression. But if anything, it was a reminder. A reminder of his ex. They’d fight here, fuck here, make up here. Harry wasn’t sure if he could face all of that yet. 

But he didn’t have a choice. As fast as it closed, the elevator opened, leaving the vulnerable man with nothing to do but move forward. The door to the studio was open, a trail of smoke coming from around it’s corner. Harry instantly recognized the smell. It was Louis. 

“Helene, Harry! Thanks for coming in today, mate.” Julian waltzed up to the pair, smiling and giving Harry a handshake. They all walked into the room, the air instantly changing. The conversations stopped, with everyone turned to Harry. 

“..Oh, hey Harry.” Niall spoke first, giving him a brief wave. 

“Hi mate.”Liam hesitated, his face contorted into some attempt at a friendly smile. Harry’s gaze followed each of the boy’s hellos, eventually settling on Louis.

Their eyes locked for the first time in four months. It felt like Louis’ eyes were almost challenging him, as if to stand his ground. This safe and beautiful space that had once been theirs was now his. He took another puff of his cigarette, then put it out in the ashtray. It was barely finished. 

“Let’s finish what we need to do today. Can’t spend all night in here.” Louis muttered, wiping his nose with the back of his thumb. Liam looked towards Harry with a grimace before turning his back to him, ending the pleasantries. Helene snaked her hand behind Harry’s back, moving him forward. He wobbled, and shot a glance at the older woman. She looked at him with understanding eyes. 

“C’mon Harry. Let’s get this done so you can go.” She guided him to the recording booth, giving him a hug before going to talk to other producers. He felt like he was sinking. This didn’t feel like home; not anymore. 

“Alright Harry, we just wanted to re-record the solos from Olivia and If I Could Fly. Think you can do that today for us?” Julian asked, hand on the boy’s shoulder. Harry reluctantly nodded his head. 

“Alright, great! Just step inside the recording booth and we’ll get these wrapped up.” Julian stepped away, readying up the sound board. He gave a thumbs up to Harry, who slipped on the headphones next to him. He grabbed a water bottle from the mini fridge, and hydrated his tight vocal chords. If he could, he would dump the whole bottle over himself. His whole body was tight. As they practiced vocal warm ups, he kept glancing through the glass towards Louis. His back was to the recording booth. 

“Alright, you ready mate?” Julian asked, giving a thumbs up. Harry reciprocated, putting down his now empty water bottle. Julian started the music, playing Olivia’s instrumental’s through Harry’s headphones. Harry took a deep breathe, and began to sing. 

_ “When you go, and I'm alone _

_ You live in my imagination.” _

Harry glanced up from closed eyes, looking at the room around him through the glass. He saw most of his producers, smiling, giving thumbs up, and listening to his vocals.

_ "The summertime, and butterflies _

_ All belong to your creation." _

The sides of Harry’s lips curled, revealing a smile while he sang. His eyes landed on Liam, who was watching him, along with..

_ “I love you, it's all I do” _

..Louis..?

_ I love you...” _

Harry landed the last note with a powerful gasp, looking at Louis. Their eyes were locked once again; except, it was different. Louis’ eyes looked almost.. 

Broken.

Harry began to remove the headphones, wanting to go to Louis and finally talk to him. But before he could get them off, Julian tapped on the glass. 

“Harry, what’re you doing? We still gotta record the other solo.” Julian gestured to the other paper his hand, which read “IICF,” with lyrics under it. Harry pursed his lips, and shifted the headphones back into place. The slow music began to play through Harry’s headphones, making his stomach twist. It was his favorite song off the album. He couldn't look at Louis during this. That was a whole level of vulnerable he wasn’t ready for. 

_ “For your eyes only, _

_ I'll show you my heart. _

_ For when you're lonely _

_ And forget who you are. _

_ I'm missing half of me _

_ When we're apart. _

_ Now you know me _

_ For your eyes only. _

_ For your eyes only." _

Opening his eyes, Harry immediately looked up to where Louis had been sat. But, just like that, he realized that the seat was empty. Liam was looking down at his phone. Even Niall was off in the corner, tuning his guitar. 

“That was great Harry! One take for each and you managed to kill it every time.” Julian clapped his hands together, and walked over to the side glass door to let Harry out. He quickly shook Julian’s hand, then walked over to Helene.

"Did you see where Louis went?” He blurted. Helene raised her eyebrows, turning towards the door. 

“I think he went outside to ‘get some air.’.. You aren’t planning to ta-“ Harry cut Helene off, thanking her before walking to the door and leaving the studio. He rushed down the hallway, to the elevator, pressing the buttons to go up. What if he left? Why would he leave so soon? He just wanted to talk..

“Stupid lighter!”

..To him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello this is cool I guess :) I’ve been writing for a long time but never had the balls to post em so.. hope u enjoy! p.s. Itll get juicier a few chapters in we just world building n shii


End file.
